Inherently Safe
Can you imagine if you were always inherently safe?
When I get to that sensation of my inherent safeness, it’s like the biggest sigh of relief my nervous system could ever make.
How many times have you heard that there are no other people?
Like a bazillion and yet just hearing it does nothing to change the fact that I still experience other people the way I have always experienced them.
How do I go from the feeling that I’m a person surrounded by an ocean of other people to the sensation of truth that I feel in the body that there is no other?
For me it was getting into that deep heart felt sensation of my inherent safety.
I’ve always had a fear of people. I was a scared kid growing up, I was so terrified of people that the only way I would go to nursery school was if my mom could be in the room. Not kidding.
I was that kid that clung to my moms leg at all times, hiding my face from the world.
As I got older this all translated into social anxiety and holding back from expression.
It’s not safe to express, what if they laugh at me, what if they judge me, what if….. ?
Can you feel all of that in the nervous system? Yikes.
So not properly addressing this root issue wreaked havoc on my perception of life and on my body.
The mind comes in and wants to come up with solutions to the “problem”.
It runs it through the programs and comes up with ways to feel safe in the world.
I act these programs out and what happens? Still don't feel safe.
OK, the mind comes up with a different program. And…. you get my drift. This is all happening on automatic.
The cycle of insanity ensues until I step in and change the game.
Or I could say I take a step back and the real solution becomes clear.
We can’t sweep anything under the rug if we want to live from our true nature. The things that get in the way of that are parts of yourself that are operating from a distorted perspective of reality.
These are likely parts that are acting out the victim/perpetrator game.
“I don't feel safe because they did this to me.”
The great thing about the expansive view of reality is you can sense a larger truth but if your not operating from that truth then there is still work to be done.
That work is the looking at and acknowledging those parts that aren't understanding their inherent wholeness, their inherent safety.
It’s a malleability thing.
First you are willing to change, then you do the inquiry to hone in on the distorted perspective that has been running the show.
I do this in real time as I feel old stories come up, as I feel my nervous system dysregulating and reacting when I’m out in the world interacting and later upon reflection because if I don’t I continue to suffer.
When I ask the right question, I can feel in my physical body the change that only comes from revelation, not from limitation.
This is what healing is to me. It’s the softening to look without self judgement so that a more real and whole solution creates unity rather than more duality in my body of consciousness.
Getting a handle on the nervous system ultimately gets us to a place of true sovereign oneness as consciousness descends through all that we are.
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